This year I focused on improving my lifestyle. I came out of a slump in 2017 due to running around ineffectively for work and attending events. Unsatisfying relationships drained me. My sense of focus dwindled from excessive social media usage. I was even questioning my decision to be nomadic.
A year ago around this time I sat in a coffeeshop in Toronto and mulled over two opportunities in my inbox, one was a full-time design job at a reputable Canadian company, another was a contract for a couple months of onsite research and product work for a fintech company in West Africa.
It was clear which aligned with my values, strengths and the life story I'd want to tell. I realized there was nothing inherently good nor bad about the choice to remain nomadic, but there were a LOT of issues with how I lived this lifestyle. I spent 2018 committed to addressing these issues so that I can better live into my values.
What went well this year 💤 I (mostly) killed bad sleep habits. It took many months of changing my eating patterns. I got rid of my patterns of working on random passion projects and editing photos into the wee hours of the morning. I'm a hands-on person and tend to get antsy if my hands aren't put to work, so when I took a few hours to wind down and sleep early, I fought the fear that I'll give up the ability to create more things. But in reality, better sleep gave me back the energy to plan smarter.
📱 I curbed my internet bingeing habits. It took catching myself with my emotions before I reacted. It took falling back in love with books, with walks outside and the gym. It took modeling after how the people I admire engaged on the internet. It took using non-distracting technology that track my habits to give me accurate feedback of how exactly I was or wasn't living according to my values. I'm a very stubborn person, but after seeing indisputable facts about my bad patterns, I gave less energy away to internet strangers and more to myself.
🤝 I was able to project more maturity when I did get into hard conversations. In my career, I landed a great remote contract after months of negotiation. I took on leadership responsibilities over a remote team. The quality of my conversations got higher as I gained mental clarity to filter my attention away from the wrong people and focus on the people who matter.
What didn't go so well this year
🏡 I wasn't good at spending time with family and friends this year. For whatever reason, I needed less social connection than in previous years. Because of my health entering 2018, I vowed not to go all in on any projects this year and hesitated to invite people into my life, at least until I could build more robustness into how I lived. Still, I could have been a little better at communicating with people around me and getting them involved, especially as I floated to different cities. Now that the foundations of my day-to-day are more robust, relationships are something I want to work on next year.
💸 I've been irresponsible with my finances. I missed payments, didn't actively tracking expenses. I over-relied on my stocks for financial safety. I think I was over-confident seeing +30% yoy results in the past two years without realizing that the market played a huge role in my favour. Of course, the Chinese market took a downturn towards the end of this year, and my stocks suffered. For 2019, I want to up-skill to manage a more diverse, risk-proof portfolio. Have a system to keep an eye on my finances, and automatically track expenses. I'm currently in the process of hiring an accountant.
What did I learn this year?
✍️ Words hold great power, in conversation and in writing. In 2018 I challenged myself to reflect deeply in writing, picking words carefully and not just ramble when I have a reaction or get an urge to tell a story. I used twitter threads as testing grounds for publishing thoughts. Over the course of 2018, they've gotten better in quality, and I found myself having greater mental clarity. In 2019, this momentum will continue as I surround myself with more thoughtful, articulate people.
🎭 Leadership is an elaborate art. This year I discovered that collaborative leadership is my dominant leadership style. Before I had always thought that I had be comfortable operating in the spotlight in order to be a Real Leader™. After a client project where I worked behind the scenes as a team lead, and this summer where I hired help to work with 4 clients at once, I learned that my strengths as a systems problem solver and deep listener lended itself well to a kind of leader that choreographed environments and stepped back. In 2019, I will continue to refine this skill through my projects.
What did I unlearn this year?
🎛 Feeling guilty when I can't focus on multiple aspects of my life. I accepted that my focus is iterative, cyclic in nature. This is a natural means for me to build momentum and push boundaries.
⏰ I discarded the personal narrative "I'm not a morning person", instead I now believe that my ability to function in the morning is a result of my overall health and my ability to prioritize time.
🛠 I have set aside my fear around the stereotype: "jack of all trades, master of none" and embraced the idea that I'm competitively and professionally multi-disciplinary. My career had always given me positive feedback around this strength that I'm now starting to act on. I made a Twitter thread about it here:
For every month in 2018, list a memory that left an impression and how it made you feel
2. Compared to last December, did I get clarity over some emotions I carried into 2018?
One emotion I carried into 2018 is restlessness. I've found a lot of mental clarity by taking care of my physical health this year. I became less moody and managed to get rid of my nighttime tired and wired state that spiraled into guilt and inability to focus the next day. Although I fell off the track a few times, overall I managed to bounce back quickly by placing my focus away from restlessness and into reseting my healthy habits.